The inconsistent, contradictory ramblings of Scarlett the Harlot

Dear Fashion Industry*,

I just want to take a minute to tell you how amazingly cool I think you are. I mean, I know we've had our differences in the past, and you might have felt that I was being a little bit bitchy to indict the entire industry as a hole for something as trivial as airbrushing (because let's be honest, everybody does it and nobody should be penalized for making someone look as young and teensy as possible) but I've seen the light. I have. Also, I was on my period that week and eating way too much chocolate. So, you know, hormones. Also, I think I was a little upset because I missed a bikini wax. I can't remember, I'm on this new diet where I only eat three crackers and one cup of water a day and my memory's a little hazy. But damn am I dropping the pounds!

Anyway, after hearing about the goings on over at London Fashion Week I had to send you a note letting you know about bygones and how we're buds now. Seriously, how terrific is it that when Mark Fast tried to put some "plus size models" on his runway somebody quit in protest and somebody else was fired? I mean, first of all, can we just call them cows? Oh, and while we're at it, can we be sure that if they have to be seen in public, we're going to put them in something that's two sizes too small with underwear that cuts them a new waist line? Because that'll ensure that they look truly craptacular in the dress and nobody is going to want to hire "that girl" to be seen with, well, normal people.

You know, this is what has made me want to be in fashion. I think you are one of the only industries in the world (second only to Women's Clinic nurses and technitions) who can look at your job description and then refuse to do it. Do you know how much I would like to get told by my boss that I had to prepare some project for a big event wherein hundreds of people are going to be looking and go "you know what? I don't feel like it today." And still be golden. That's just...astoundingly avante garde.

I mean look at that girl! She looks miserable. And she's in a fashion show! She's not just normal, model miserable. She's actually miserable. How does she get off feeling that way when she's wearing a designer dress and killer shoes? I mean sure, the dress is too small, you wouldn't let her wear a bra so we can all see her nipples, and her thong is digging into her hips in a way that can't be comfortable, but she's being allowed to walk with skinny people. I mean, what do us fatties think, that we should be allowed to wear clothes that fit or something? The absolute nerve.
I mean, okay, so granted I've got a sneaking suspician that Mark Fast doesn't so much care about plus sized models as he does about selling his clothes. I mean, the controversy over the fashion-savvy staffer who just up and quit rather than tell those girls where the freaking lipstick was is sure making headlines and making sure people know his name. Likewise, having to fire another stylist for straight up passive aggressive, bitchy behavior is enough to make me want to check out his website. I mean, he cared enough to make sure those girls were treated with respect. Even if, you know, he couldn't give them clothes that fit. So Mark Fast is officially off my myspace buddy list. I mean, how dare he. It's like those fatties expected to be treated like people or something. 

This is the thing, bottom line: plus sized models shouldn't be around regular sized models. Anybody who was in that audience will tell you that everybody was uncomfortable when those girls walked out--they looked miserable and their clothes didn't fit. So double props to you, fashion industry for making an example of those girls and being sure that everybody knows that curves have no place on the runway. 

I'll let you know how my diet works out.

Love and awe,
Scarlett the Harlot




*If you think for one minute I've gone over to the dark side and this letter is anything but absolute sarcasm then why are you reading this blog? Obviously hunger and dehydration have made you delirious. Go eat a cookie.

Dear Fashion Industry,

It's me again. I know you're surprised to hear from me considering the last time we had words. It wasn't pretty, I'll admit it. And it's hard to look someone in the eye after they've basically told them to sit on it and rotate. I know. I feel for you. But I'm back. This time with links.

What I'm talking about is the recent hullabaloo over the September issue of Self Magazine and Kelly Clarkson.



For those of you looking at that cover and saying "Wow, Kelly looks great." I think you should know, that's not Kelly Clarkson. That is a digitally enhanced image of Kelly Clarkson. This is Kelly Clarkson:



Self shaved, tucked, slimmed and hid the real Kelly to make a pretty cover. Note the obvious size differences in the upper arms, the chin, and the way they stuck a big circle over her ass to hide, well, her ass. And they're proud of it. To hear Lucy Danziger tell it (Lucy's an editor at Self and the blogger who's entry you'll read if you click that link) they love Kelly's "style" and her "love of her body" and her "joie de vivre", which is a bit strange considering they Photoshopped all that right out of that picture. One of hte awesome things about Clarkson is the way she embraces who she is and rocks her body and wears great clothes no matter what her size. Self had the ability to truly showcase that. Instead they chose to hide behind the bizarre idea that "a cover tells a story". To which I find myself asking, "what story exactly?" If I look at that cover, the story I'm seeing is a picture of a faux Kelly next to a REALLY BIG AD for how to slim yourself down. Oh, and a thing at the bottom about body confidence.

More troubling, if you continue reading that convuluted excuse for a lie that is Lucy Danziger's blog entry she goes on to say that she photoshops her own pictures if she's going to be say, sharing them with her peers. What the hell does that say about the industry in which she works and what shes' been made to think about herself. Should she really be working for a magazine that's supposed to be ostensibly about finding yourself or gaining self esteem or whatever it is Self even stands for? 

Airbrushing in the fashion industry is certainly nothing new. I think my generation especially has internalized the idea that beauty standards are impossible to such an extent that not even the models can live up to them. Of course we know that the cover shot isn't really what that woman looks like. Remember when Faith Hill was on the cover of Redbook and they basically erased her face? At the time, Jezebel did a truly hilarious, and truly depressing, breakdown of the pictures. In fact, airbrushing has been around so long they don't even airbrush anymore. Now, because we're in the digital age they do something totally different with a Raster image editor. Anyhoodle, you're they fashion police so you already know all this. My point is that the problem has become so pervasive that certain political parties have started to get involved.

Not in this country of course. America's too busy being afraid of fat and old age. No, but in Great Britain, Parlimant is talking about making advertisements have disclaimers if they've been airbrushed specifically so we'll know we're not looking at the real thing. Think about what that would mean for a second--instead of seeing pretty, perfect Tyra Banks or Jennifer Love Hewitt on the cover of whatever magazine and being completely appalled when we see them on the beach in the tabloids. Why? Because the tabloid picture is the real, candid shot. That's what they really look like after all.

But you people. I swear.

Okay, so in response to the whole British Parliament/Photoshop Disclaimer thing, Nigel Barker felt the need to weigh in:

The reason why talent in the modeling industry is so young is because of this desire to have flawless-looking women. But with good retouching, you can have older-looking women working longer. You can show her maturity, but perhaps you don’t show every wrinkle and line. What you are seeing are older models having longer careers that they never would have had because of retouching.

Really Nigel? You're going to make it sound like you're doing the models a favor? Wow. That's big of you I guess. But I find it really fucking douchey of you to claim that you (the fashion industry) have no control over what goes on the covers of magazines or what is deemed hot or attractive. I call serious shenanigans.

Do you remember a while back there was a little book published called The Devil Wears Prada? Remember how the story was the writer was actually an assistant to Anna Wintour, head fashion editor at Vogue and Goddess of Garb? Remember how Anna's PR people denied that she was a bitch to work with but she still showed up at the premier of the movie wearing Prada? My point here is that in that movie, based on the book, based on reality, there was this gem of an exchange between Andy the Assistant and fashion hick and Miranda the Garb Goddess:

Miranda Priestly: [Miranda and some assistants are deciding between two similar belts for an outfit. Andy sniggers because she thinks they look exactly the same] Something funny?
Andy Sachs: No, no, nothing. Y'know, it's just that both those belts look exactly the same to me. Y'know, I'm still learning about all this stuff.
Miranda Priestly: This... 'stuff'? Oh... ok. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves St Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of 8 different designers. Then it filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic casual corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and so it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room. From a pile of stuff.

In all honesty I hate quoting a tell all but there it is. You people control everything. You know you do. Maybe not Nigel Barker personally, he's too pretty and he's just a shutterbug, but if Anna fucking Wintour suddenly decided that size was sexy and put Steve Tyler's other daughter on the front cover of her magazine without making her go on a crash diet to get down to 150 pounds (like she did Oprah--true story, look it up) then trust me when I tell you other magazines would follow suit. Suddenly plus size would be in. Kate Moss would be out of work. Young girls wouldn't feel like they had to go on a diet in the third fucking grade. I could find clothes that actually fit in straight sizes. There would be dancing in the streets.

It wouldn't be considered politically subverssive to be fat.

How fucking bizarre is that?

Here are a few statistics for you:

• It is estimated that 8 million Americans have an eating disorder – seven million women and one million men
• One in 200 American women suffers from anorexia
• Two to three in 100 American women suffers from bulimia
• Nearly half of all Americans personally know someone with an eating disorder (Note: One in five Americans suffers from mental illnesses.)
• An estimated 10 – 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are males

Upset yet? Well how about these:

• Anorexia is the 3rd most common chronic illness among adolescents
• 95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25
• 50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight
• 80% of 13-year-olds have attempted to lose weight

Or these:

• Rates of minorities with eating disorders are similar to those of white women
• 74% of American Indian girls reported dieting and purging with diet pills
• Essence magazine, in 1994, reported that 53.5% of their respondents, African-American females were at risk of an eating disorder
• Eating disorders are one of the most common psychological problems facing young women in Japan.

Here are some celebrities that have been diagnosed with eating disorders:

"I've always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I'd kill myself if I was that fat."--Elizabeth Hurley

Dear Fashion Industry--

Fuck. You.

It wasn't enough that you had to set a completely unattainable beauty ideal--seriously, how is having the body of a ten-year-old-boy sexy?!--but now that you think you've got to spend a little extra money you're going to stop making "plus sized" clothing altogether? You've got to be kidding me. So what're we supposed to do? Walk around wearing potato sacks? 

Listen, I get that there's a recession going on and things are expensive but take a minute to think about what you're saying when you've got the nerve to imply larger sized clothes cost more money because it takes more "yardage". Big girls aren't that big. Even those of us that are morbidly obese don't have to actually wear a circus tent. So things cost more money, why not add a few extra dollars to the price tag? Trust me when I tell you, we buy clothes. We have to. Public nudity's a crime. Especially for us apparently.

I don't think you realize what a chore it is to shop when you're not a regular size. It's not just the public humiliation of the dressing room, though there is that. It's having to dig through racks and racks of size 2's and under to find one article of clothing in my size. It's the annoyance at realizing the "plus size" section is actually also the maternity section. It's buying maternity clothes because they're actually more fashionable than "plus sized" clothes--what the hell is that Target? women who are only temporarily fat get to look cute, but those of us who are actually fat have to dress like somebody's grandmother?--it's knowing that even if we go to stores that are specifically for women that are our size we're going to have to pay $40 for a tee shirt when skinny girls can get the same tee shirt (only better made and better looking) for less than half the price at a pricey boutique.

And let's talk about "plus sized" fashion.

I sew. I know how to make my own clothes. And I know what looks good on my body type. So how come people that have a degree in drape seem to think the only way to make a full-figured body look good is with an empire waist? That doesn't look good on everybody and frankly, I don't like every single article of clothing in my closet being a "wraparound". It makes me feel like they don't make buttons big enough for me. And then there's the ruching, those little built in ruffles are only flattering for so long. And the dresses and shirts with the sewn in parts for the boobs. Lookit--I know where my boobs go, I don't need a cloth diagram. And frankly, sometimes my boobs are too big for those little cut outs. Do you know how tacky it is to wear a top with tit-ruching only your tits are flying south of the border? That's not sexy, that's sloppy. And we don't really have a choice because almost every jersey knit thing at Lane Bryant and Avenue has those kinds of things conveniently sewn in to give the appearance of... what exactly? We've already got boobs. Of course, ours are naturally big so they're not necessarily perky, but that doesn't mean we want to feel like we're sportin' cow udders, you know?

I understand that you're trying to run a business and you only care about your bottom line, but completely ignoring 56% of women is not a good way to go about it. Okay, a lot of working class moms with kids won't be interested in shelling out however much for Anne Klein, but they're not really your target demographic anyway, are they?  I would say your target demographic is twenty to thirty something singles and professionals and frankly, I'm a twenty-five-year-old single professional who happens to be fat and would like to look amazing at work. Is your stuff pricey? Yes, but I'll pay it. Why? Because I'm single and I don't have a family to support so I'll have arguably more money than your average working-class housewife who's got three kids and a husband to dress. And because I've got to wear something and one pricey button-down is worth more to me than ten not-so-pricey button-downs from Wal-Mart that are going to shrink three sizes in the wash.

Actually, that's another thing. Just because you're making clothes for fats does NOT mean that you should buy cheaper fabric or skimp on design. If I pay $40 for a tee shirt from Lane Bryant, I don't want to throw it in the wash and find out that after one wear I have to give it to my skinny next door neighbor because it's shrunk so much I can't wear it. That's enough to make me not shop at Lane Bryant. So maybe you're seeing a cut in your money not from lack of people shopping, but from crappy product. Just a thought.

And speaking of crappy product, I'm fat not blind. You should be able to design a fun and flattering outfit for a fat girl without having to drip it in added embellishments. Lace and sequins and cameos and flashy metallic screen prints make it look cheap and like you weren't trying. Or worse, cheap and like you felt the need to cover me up, but you knew I wasn't going to buy a potato sack so you made it shiny. Because fat girl are like magpies or something.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we're consumers too. Just because we don't fit your ideal body type (and frankly who does?) does not mean that we don't deserve respect. You've made it blatantly obvious through your products and your marketing (why are "plus size models" only size 8?!) that you think we're somehow less than. You've ignored us. You've given us crap not even our invalid maiden aunts would wear and we've had to buy it because we don't have another choice. You've chosen to believe that to be fat is to be shameful even though many of us are happy in our size and actually aren't trying to diet away our pounds.

For all this and more I say fuck you.

Yours,

Scarlett